“Ok I'm still a virgin and I have been dating this dude for like 3 weeks now, well of course during our time being together I have left him sexually frustrated because I'm a bottom and I'm scared of what's going to happen after such as our relationship and my body but when I thought I was ready and was wanting him he told me he didn’t think I was ready, now his birthday is in 2 weeks, should I go ahead and do it or should I wait because honestly I feel that I'm ready, I think I'm mature enough to handle whatever happens.”
So my response to him was the standard ‘wait until you’re ready, your virtue is important to you’ which I still stand by only to be met with resistance from another commenter who wrote:
“Some of you sound like idiots. Clearly this Andrew wants to engage, and his partner felt he wasn't mature enough to handle what may come as a result. Perhaps when you felt you were ready, he wasn't due to your perhaps unsanitary position. Omit advice regarding "virginity is sacred" "something you'll never get back" Spoken from the cum guzzlers mouth at the age of 14. Get a grip on reality, if you want to fuck, fuck. If not, move on and focus less on teasing and more on academics...”
“Spoken from the cum guzzlers mouth…if you want to fuck, fuck.” What type of advice is that?? It’s sad to say that his negative experiences and probably lack of a proper role model added to his negative view of cherishing virginity and using discretion when to lose.
From the negative response to the post, which I hope is ignored by everyone, I began to wonder is virtue lost to black gay men? And if so why?
Virtue is defined as “Conformity to a standard of right; morality” and “chastity especially in a woman.”
I am aware that we live in a society that tends to hold males sexual experience to a different degree than that of women, seemingly expecting men to get as much practice as possible while women should wait for one special person. Regardless of this idea I think that virtue is equally important to both sexes. Unfortunately some black gay males throw virtue out the window at a whim when faced with temptation.
These are the individuals who begin having sexual encounters by the age of fourteen, which often immediately transcends into multiple partners. Often at times, these sexual encounters are unprotected which then leads way into an entirely new world of dangers and risks.
This ties into my idea of why virtue is important and why one should truly be ready and committed to a person before going as far as giving a person their virginity, let alone before having sex with him (or her).
I feel that one’s virtue is one of the most important aspects of a person’s individuality. Some of us put more emphasis on it than others but the end result is the same; if you want anyone to respect you, you have to respect yourself.
