Breaking the Bond

The bond between a father and a child is a bond that is difficult to understand. Whereas a mother has 9 months to bond with a child and build a connection from conception, fathers must work a little harder at it. It is like a stranger meeting someone else’s child for the first time and accepting the responsibility to be their provider. The intent is there, but the bond must be forged. It is a difficult bond to understand and one that must be built over time with hard work and dedication. This was the case with Danny and Jason.

Danny had great dreams for Jason from the moment his son was born, and there was hardly ever an occasion where you would see one without the other. He planned to instill in him all the things a man should be and teach him important lessons such as never pick a battle but never run from a fight, treat women with respect but never be their doormat, repay all his debts, never make a promise he couldn’t keep and above all else be a man of his word. Unfortunately for Danny, the father's dreams are often unrealized by the child. His son, Jason, was a quiet and meek child. Short and thin in stature, he couldn’t catch a ball when it was thrown to him and had horrible hand-to-eye coordination. When he was ten, where most boys his age were outside running and tackling each other in a game of football, Jason spent his time indoors drawing, coloring, and keeping to himself. The only friends he cared to have were his two younger sisters.

Danny tried his best to understand his son but at times it became frustrating seeing him not fit in with the other boys around the neighborhood. He reached the height of his frustration one summer day when he convinced Jason to go outside with him to throw a baseball back and forth. Every ball he threw Jason missed or let slip away in such a way that to Danny it seemed like Jason wasn’t even trying.

“Come on Jason concentrate!” Danny yelled sternly.

“I’m trying!” Jason shouted back on the verge of tears.

“Stop that crying boy!” Danny snapped. “Now we gonna stay out here until you catch at least one ball.” Angrily, Danny pulled back, tightening his grip on the ball and releasing it nearly full forcefully striking Jason in the chin. No sooner than he released the ball did Danny realize what he had done and rushed to comfort his son. Quickly rushing him into the house and examining the bruise. After that day he never asked Jason to play baseball again.

The next time Danny’s anger caught him off guard and caused him to hurt his son occurred when Jason was twelve. Coming home from work he found Jason playing dress-up with the girls, wearing clip-on earrings and makeup smeared across his face. It was all fun for Jason, making it harder for him to understand when Danny whopped him uncontrollably. After that night Jason made sure to never let his father catch him playing dress-up ever again.

When Jason was fifteen he had a best friend by the name of Glover, whom he did everything with. Danny was ecstatic to see his son bond with another male and have a genuine friend. He encouraged the two to always be together until one night when Glover was sleeping over and Danny caught the two closely sleeping together in the same bed. Danny kicked Glover out of the house, telling him never to come back, and once again whopped Jason. Jason swore to never spend the night with another male ever again.

Once Jason turned eighteen, he moved out of his parent’s house and went away to school. When he was twenty-two he moved back home, worked to save money, and buy his own house. At twenty-five, he met a girl, dated her for six months, and by twenty-six he was married with his first child on the way.

Danny couldn’t be more proud of Jason, never knowing that his son dressed in women’s clothing and slept with men at night but lacked the courage to tell his father. To this day Jason still cannot catch a baseball.

Being An Individual

Going through the hundreds on top of hundreds of documents spread across computer, I found many of my writings that I had long ago misplaced and forgotten about. Among them was my American Identity Project that I wrote for my Junior year in my Harlem Renaissance course. This was one of my favorite courses during my undergrad years for various reasons. Among those being that I think that was the year that I truly came in tune with myself. Well I won't go into to much detail but instead will let my essay speak for itself. This first essay is entitled "Being an Individual" and was my introduction to my portfolio on Individuality. 

America is nicknamed “the land of opportunity,” a handle that has different meanings for different people. When I think of America, I think of a land of freedom and endless possibilities, but not so long ago, some possibilities weren’t offered to certain people. For example, in his 1751 essay “America as a Land of Opportunity,” Benjamin Franklin modeled the land of opportunity to only include whites saying, “Why increase the Sons of Africa, by Planting them in America, where we have so fair an Opportunity, by excluding all Blacks and Tawneys, of increasing the lovely White and Red?”

At the time, Franklin was promoting for more Europeans to migrate to America and work, as land was so plentiful and cheap that anyone could come over and start a new life. This essay could solely be linked to the American Dream notion; the idea that in America, if you do what you have to and work hard enough, all of one's dreams could come true. That was 1751, and I for one am glad that Franklin’s notion didn’t last long because in time America has become very integrated.

One of the best things about America is the diversity that the country consists of. Surpassing Franklin’s “the land of opportunity” idea, America has continuously become home to many unique and different people, people of different shapes, colors, ideas, and beliefs. Aside from the numerous economic opportunities, freedom of speech and the freedom of religion, I think that the best thing about America is the chance for any and everyone to express their individuality.

All across the country, people express their individuality in many different ways such as the way they dress and the music that they listen to. In my portfolio, I’m exploring my own individuality and how important it is for me to have. I came to this topic because I am one of the many homosexual males in America, leading a lifestyle that is somewhat frowned upon by society. In reference to the insert by Benjamin Franklin, I chose it because while on the surface he is advocating a land of only whites, deep down he is rejecting those who were different ,such as people of color and, if it came down to it, homosexuals. What he did not realize was that it would be the diversity of people, along with their beliefs, values, and morals, that would make America so great. 

Some people may not agree with the ways others express their individuality, but what should be remembered is that it is our individuality that makes us all unique, and having the freedom to express it is what makes America great. I leave you with the thoughts of James Baldwin:

“Our passion for categorization, life neatly fitted into pegs, has led to unforeseen, paradoxical distress; confusion, a breakdown of meaning. Those categories which are meant to define and control the world for us have boomeranged into chaos, in which limbo we swirl, clutching the straws of our definitions. We find ourselves bound, first without, then within, by the nature of our categorization.”

Baldwin wrote this to describe the chaotic social environment of the United States during the Civil Rights Movement, but I think that it appropriately fits here. Baldwin was expressing his belief in unnecessary labeling and categorizing of people of color and difference. As the Civil Rights Movement for equality was countered with violence, perhaps Baldwin was foreshadowing that similar events would continue to occur in the quest for tolerance reflected in today's tumultuous times.