Preference VS Closed Minded

It really has been a while since I have written anything.  So much has been going on but that’s a topic for another time. Now it’s time to get back on track. In one of the various groups that I am in all types of debates and arguments occur, usually following a thought provoking conversation.

Why is it that if a person says they wouldn't date/have sex w/ an HIV+ guy they are seen as being "close minded"?

I had to admit this was a pretty interesting question so why not dive right in? I responded ‘I don't find it being close minded I just consider it being limited. Anyone who would turn down a person who is sweet, loving, successful and everything else you could ask for in a mate definitely is cheating himself out of love.

I stand by my position believing that love is so hard to come by and so many people dream about having it and craving it that no one should ever reject it. But then I had to think about what was truly being said. Why is it that having a strong preference for or against something is something that can be called closed minded? I guess in a sense closed minded is the equivalent of not being open to all things/chances so I understand that aspect. People have preferences against obese individuals, members of different races and religions so why is it such an insult not to want to date a HIV+ person?

Is it that homosexuals have fallen into the mindset of believing the stigma that having HIV is a death sentence? It seems some have but for all the wrong reasons:

“Well, the chances are that most men have dated someone that was HIV+ and didn't know it or had sex with someone that was. So if you'd do it not knowing, why would it change knowing that he was?”

“People have the right not to want to have sex with a person who discloses their HIV status and that is the reason for disclosing to give the other person a choice I would never be upset with a person who didn't want to have sex with me it's their choice.”

“...Me personally, I think that it is naive and closed minded!! My reason: I wanna know who all asks the guy before you suck his dick, before you bend over or bend dey ass over or before you go to that sex party or have a 3some, before you meet them off BGC, A4A, tagged, grindr, and ask to have sex with them do you ask if THEY ARE HIV+..now HONESTLY ask yourself that question before I get all types of response..the majority will say no...YEs its a choice to not have sex with someone who is and trust me it is a scary feeling but how can you possibly say you have a choice when half the time you don't know if you are taking the chance to come in contact with someone who really is? I mean seriously, some dudes kill me when they say oh, nah I'm not fucking him or letting him fuck me cause he told me he POZ...dumb ass be happy he told yo ass he was instead of lying #grownmanstatus(get on it) sn: I am HIV NEGATIVE!!!”

I stand by my position in believing everyone deserves to be loved regardless of any barrier. My final thoughts on the situation are that it is closed minded, but more importantly we only feel so negative towards it because of the dark connotation attached to it.

Gay Is The New Black

In my personal opinion, I feel that the African American community is the biggest critic when it comes to homosexuality, especially among men. The idea of the African American male is this Alpha male, head of the household, breadwinner, ultra masculine, never see him cry type figure or in short the complete opposite of what some people believe homosexual males are. I think this hype, of course, stems from the effects of slavery. It’s an ongoing backlash from African-American males having their dignity stripped and pride broken for years with hope nowhere in sight.

Because of this, the African-American community put emphasis on the new found freedom of  men, expecting us to be the strong superior males that slavery denied us to be, which consequently creates a view that any man willing to have sex with another  man is for lack of better words weak.

I myself find a major flaw with this. As a group, African-Americans should be some of the biggest advocates for the LGBTQ community as not very long being black was the equivalent of being gay today.

Too often the same arguments posed against homosexuals are those that whites used to keep African American’s enslaved for years, even using religion to support their belief that they were our superiors and we were an inadequate species made to serve them. Aside from this, slavery left an everlasting impression on the African American community which leads me to ask the question ‘after years of oppression and injustice why would we subject another group of individuals to the same treatment?’ ‘After years of being persecuted for something as simple as our skin pigmentation, an aspect of ourselves that we didn’t choose, why would we persecute a group for being born a certain way?’ ‘After being lynched, burned, beaten, dragged, and whipped why would we turn around and indulge in the same activities towards others.’

If being gay means being hated and persecuted for the way one is born then it is safe to say that being gay is ironically the new black. Everything about Gay Rights parallels the fight African American’s faced for Civil Rights which is more reason I believe the African American Community should be more sympathetic to the LGBTQ community and their plight. Only time will tell if African American’s will face the reality of the struggle or continue to hinder the struggle.