"I need advice...Ok...Here's the deal...I want to wait til I get married for sex. I have been told that I WON'T FIND anyone in the gay community who will wait. Is that TRUE? Do we really think with our URGES and not our heart?"
My initial response to this guy’s question, which I still stand by, was that it seems unrealistic but there may be someone out there with the same ideals... I mean I am sure there are plenty of individuals in the world who are virgins committed on remaining so until he or she is married. My only point, which makes this young man goal’s unrealistic to me, is that I feel that the men and women who are saving themselves until marriage are predominately heterosexual.
Let’s be honest, the idea of a gay man saving himself until marriage is quite hysterical being as we as homosexuals can not legally marry in 44 states. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an optimist and believe that universal marriage for all humans will occur someday, but he isn’t waiting ‘til the day everyone can get married, just himself. Not wanting to look down on his belief I had to know exactly what his mind set was:
“It's something I always wanted to do...I wanna b PURE for him.”
Just to clear things up, yes the young man is a Christian but it just struck me as if he is trying to live his life parallel to that of a heterosexual couple, and that’s where I have the problem. Why is it that so many gay men try to emulate heterosexual relationships? It’s bad enough that society often equates being gay as wanting to be a woman, but what does it say about our culture when we actually take steps and conduct ourselves as such. Not to say that the young man truly wants to be a woman, but I feel as if he believes being in a relationship with a man is the equivalent to a man and woman and that is not the case.
My advice to this young man is to concentrate on waiting for love. He seems to be a young man who places a lot of meanings behind sex and because of this I’m sure he won’t have sex until he finds the person he feels is truly right for him. I chop his aspirations up to youth and inexperience. To all readers, go out and enjoy life. There’s much to explore and learn.
